Yo Mama Jokes

• Head So Small/Big
• So Bald
• So Dark
• So Hairy
• So Lazy
• So Short
• Misc
• Has
• House
• Teeth So Yellow
• Glasses So Thick
• So Slutty
• So Old
• So Skinny
• So Nasty
• So Greasy
• So Poor
• So Fat
• So Stupid
• So Ugly

HEAD SO SMALL/BIG

• Yo mama head so small she uses a tea-bag as a pillow.
• Yo mama head so small dat she got her ear pierced and died.
• Yo mama head so big she has to step into her shirts.
• Yo mama head so big she needed grass for hair transplant.

SO BALD

• Yo mama so bald you can see what's on her mind
• Yo mama so bald dat she took a shower and got brain-washed.
• Yo mama so bald when birds fly over her dey get blinded
• Yo mama so bald NASA is using it as a model for dair new reflector dish!
• Yo mama so bald lice use her head as a ski resort
• Yo mama so bald she dirves a convertable at night and spotlights deer!
• Yo mama so bald she curls her hair with rice
• Yo mama so bald she put on a turtleneck and looked like my pecker.
• Yo mama so bald when she puts on a turtle neck, she looks like a busted condom.
• Yo mama so bald she models for Milk Duds boxes

SO DARK

• Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!
• Yo mama so dark dat she can leave fingerprints on charcoal.
• Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers.
• Yo mama so dark dey made a movie of her heart transplant called "From da darkest heart of Africa"
• Yo mama so dark when she takes a bath it makes tea
• Yo mama so dark I had to tell her to open her eyes so I could see her
• Yo mama so dark when someone shot her, da bullets turned around and asked for flashlights
• Yo mama so dark when she cut her finger hershy's syrup came out
• Yo mama so dark day have to roll her in flour and tell her to fart to see which end is which
• Yo mama so dark she makes tar look grey

SO HAIRY

• Yo mama so hairy she wears a Nike tag on her weave so now everybody calls her Hair Jordan.
• Yo mama so hairy she looks like a Chia Pet with an afro!
• Yo mama so hairy she shaves with a weedwhacker
• Yo mama so hairy jo gramma almost died of a rugburn at birth!
• Yo mama so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!
• Yo mama so hairy she was asked to be da spokesman for rogaine
• Yo mama so hairy when she takes a shower it's like "Gorillas in da Mist"
• Yo mama so hairy dat she parts da hair on her teeth.
• Yo mama so hairy she wore out six razors shaving her back

SO LAZY

• Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where jo daddy has two jobs.
• Yo mama so lazy when she died it took her two days to fall down

SO SHORT

• Yo mama so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
• Yo mama so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
• Yo mama so short she does backflips under da bed.
• Yo mama so short she models for trophys.
• Yo mama so short she pole vaults with a toothpick
• Yo mama so short she has to look up to look down
• Yo mama so short she drives for Tyco
• Yo mama so short when ants piss, she thinks it's raining

MISC

• Yo mama is twice da man you are.
• Yo mama teeth so long, she bit down on a piece of gum and cut her own toe nail
• Yo mama pussy so crusty, she got chicken pot pie growin on her thighs
• Yo mama like a tv even a two year old can turn her on!
• Yo mama's pussy is so sweet dey use it in cake mixture!!
• Yo mama's arm pits are so hairy it looks like she's got Don King in a head lock
• Yo mama's like a doorknob, everyone get's a turn.
• Yo mama so funky.. she gives sour dough yeast infections
• Yo mama's tits are so old dey give powdered milk.
• Yo mama's pussy so big jo daddy gotta tie a 2x4 to his ass to keep from fallin' in
• Yo mama like a door, everybody slams her

HAS

• Yo mama has one leg and a bicycle.
• Yo mama has one hand and a Clapper.
• Yo mama has green hair and thinks shes a chia pet.
• Yo mama has 1 eye and 1 leg and dey call her I hop.
• Yo mama has a 'fro with warning lights.
• Yo mama has three fingers and a banjo.
• Yo mama has a wooden leg with a kickstand on it.
• Yo mama has a' afro, wit' a chin strap!!!!
• Yo mama has a wooden leg with branches.
• Yo mama has so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
• Yo mama has a metal afro with rusty sideburns.
• Yo mama has eyes in her butt talking about "Damn, did you see dat shit?!"
• Yo mama has sucked so many dicks she can donate her spit to a sperm bank
• Yo mama has one eye talkin about she only seen half da movie

HOUSE

• Yo mama house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
• Yo mama house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.
• Yo mama house so small I walked in da front door and came out da back door
• Yo mama house so small I stuck a key in and killed 6 people
• Yo mama house so small da cockroaches got hunchbacks
• Yo mama house so small da front and back door are on da same hindge

TEETH SO YELLOW

• Yo mama's teeth so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
• Yo mama's teeth so yellow she spits butter!
• Yo mama's teeth so yellow I can't belive it's not butter!
• Yo mama's teeth so yellow plants grow when she smiles
• Yo mama's teeth so yellow she has more gold than fort knox
• Yo mama's teeth so yellow she gives her pulled teeth away as lemon candy.

GLASSES SO THICK

• Yo mama's glasses are so thick dat when she looks on a map she can see people waving.
• Yo mama's glasses are so thick dat she can't leave dem on her car's dashboard during da summer or it will catch fire!!!
• Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into da future.

SO SLUTTY

• Yo mama so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her nice belt!
• Yo mama so slutty, she's like a shotgun: give her a cock & she'll blow.
• Yo mama so slutty she's like a pack of gum 5 sticks for 25 cents
• Yo mama so slutty she's like da Pillsbury dough boy, every body gets a poke
• Yo mama so slutty dat I could've been jo daddy, but da guy in line behind me had da correct change.
• Yo mama so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
• Yo mama so slutty dat when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought she was getting it three times.
• Yo mama so slutty she blind and seeing another man.
• Yo mama so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
• Yo mama so slutty she could suck da chrome off a trailer hitch ball
• Yo mama so slutty she is known as Homecomming Disease
• Yo mama so slutty when I stayed over jo house and I asked what is for lunch, she sat on a plate
• Yo mama so slutty she's like a door knob everbody gets a turn.
• Yo mama so slutty she wears panties just to keep her ankles warm
• Yo mama so slutty she's like a hardware store 4 cents a screw.
• Yo mama so slutty she's like Nike, Just Do Her
• Yo mama so slutty she is like a gas station pay, pump, and go
• Yo mama so slutty dat right now I would be jo father but da dog beat me up da stairs
• Yo mama so slutty she is like a police station, open to da public
• Yo mama so slutty she is like seven-eleven, open 24 hours a day
• Yo mama so slutty she wears knee pads and yells, "Curb service!"
• Yo mama so slutty dat her ass hole is bigger than her mouth
• Yo mama so slutty she's like train tracks, she gets laid all over da country!
• Yo mama so slutty she is like a bowling ball, finger her and throw her back in da ally
• Yo mama so slutty she could sell her spit to a sperm bank!
• Yo mama so slutty she wears a matress for a backpack

SO OLD

• Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
• Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
• Yo mama so old dat when she was in school there was no history class.
• Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
• Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
• Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
• Yo mama so old she has her yearbook signed by Jesus!
• Yo mama so old she was da waitress at da last supper.
• Yo mama so old when she walked into an antique store, day took her!!!
• Yo mama so old when she squezzed her tit cottage cheese came out
• Yo mama so old she's got dinosaur shit in her toenails.
• Yo mama so old when she smile's her face cracked.
• Yo mama so old she knew da Dead Sea when it was still sick
• Yo mama so old she farts dust.
• Yo mama so old she was bob dole's baby sitter
• Yo mama so old dat she babysat T-Rex
• Yo mama so old she owes Moses 3 dollars
• Yo mama so old she has Jesus's beeper number

SO SKINNY

• Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
• Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and dissapeared.
• Yo mama so skinny when she put a letter in da mailbox she fell in
• Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with Cheerios
• Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a marble she was 9 months pregnant
• Yo mama so skinny she has to run around in da shower just to get wet

SO NASTY

• Yo mama so nasty she made Speed Stick slow down.
• Yo mama so nasty she made Right Guard turn left.
• Yo mama so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
• Yo mama so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told da stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt
• Yo mama so nasty she gotta put ice down her drawers to keep da crabs fresh!
• Yo mama so nasty she brings crabs to da beach
• Yo mama so nasty dat her shit is glad to escape
• Yo mama so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection
• Yo mama so nasty she went swimming and now we have da dead sea
• Yo mama so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place
• Yo mama so nasty she made Secret tell everybody
• Yo mama so nasty I asked her what was for dinner and she jumped on da table and open her legs and said octopus
• Yo mama so nasty she drinks water and spits YOO-HOO!
• Yo mama so nasty when she breathes, her teeth duck
• Yo mama so nasty she gave sour dough a yeast infection.
• Yo mama so nasty she buys red panties she she won't have to buy tampons
• Yo mama so nasty when you asked her where all her scabs went and she said, "Shut up and eat jo corn flakes!"

SO GREASY

• Yo mama so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
• Yo mama so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
• Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!
• Yo mama so greasy she goes to KFC, takes off her shirt and puts it in with da fries
• Yo mama so greasy dat dey use her hair to refill da deep fryer.
• Yo mama so greasy jo daddy burries her up to her head and drives back and forth to give da car a lube job

SO POOR

• Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
• Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick odar people's fingers
• Yo mama so poor jo family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
• Yo mama so poor her face is on da front of a foodstamp.
• Yo mama so poor she wave around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning
• Yo mama so poor burglars break in her house and leave money
• Yo mama so poor I saw her kickin' a can down da street. I said "what you doin'?" she said "MOVIN'!"
• Yo mama so poor she got IOU's in her penny loafers
• Yo mama so poor she can't afford a free lunch
• Yo mama so poor I walked in jo house, stepped on a cigeret, and she said "get off da heater."
• Yo mama so poor when You ask her to turn on da heating she lights a match.
• Yo mama so poor dat when I closed da freezer she said "Who turned off da cooler"
• Yo mama so poor her welcome mat says "WEL"
• Yo mama so poor I pushed da doorbell and Yo mama popped out da window & said "DING-DONG!"
• Yo mama so poor I saw her putting pennies in da gutter, asked what she was doing, and ahe said, "Paying da rent."
• Yo mama so poor she brought you a video tape for christmas of othar kids playing with toys.
• Yo mama so poor she became a Jehovah's Witness so she wouldn't have to buy Christmas presents

SO FAT

• Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
• Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
• Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
• Yo mama so fat she went to da movies and sat next to everyone
• Yo mama so fat she was in da ocean and Spain claimed her for da new world
• Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at da menu and says "okay!"
• Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on da driveway
• Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
• Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down da bridge too
• Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"
• Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
• Yo mama so fat when she gets on da scale it says to be continued.
• Yo mama so fat when she gets on da scale it says we don't do livestock.
• Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!
• Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
• Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to da beach da tide comes in!
• Yo mama so fat I had to take a train to get on her good side!
• Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
• Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
• Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
• Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
• Yo mama so fat dat her senior picture had to be arial view!
• Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of da family!
• Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
• Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
• Yo mama so fat day have to grease da bath tub to get her out!
• Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
• Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
• Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up.
• Yo mama so fat she influences da tides.
• Yo mama so fat dat when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
• Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
• Yo mama so fat you have to grease da door frame and hold a twinkie on da odar side just to get her through
• Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, day have to install speed bumps.
• Yo mama so fat she sets off car alarms when she runs.
• Yo mama so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back!
• Yo mama so fat da only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
• Yo mama so fat dat when she sits on da beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into da ocean.....
• Yo mama so fat dat she would have been in E.T., but when she rode da bike across da moon, she caused an eclipse.
• Yo mama so fat she was Miss Arizona -- class Battleship
• Yo mama so fat to her "light food" means under 4 Tons
• Yo mama so fat she went on a date with high heels on and came back with sandals!!!
• Yo mama so fat she stepped on a talking scale and it told her to get off!!!
• Yo mama so fat she was zoned for commercial development
• Yo mama so fat God said "let there be light" and she moved
• Yo mama so fat she doesn't take pictures, she takes posters
• Yo mama so fat she uses da goodyear blimp as a tampon
• Yo mama so fat her nickname is DAMN!
• Yo mama so fat Mcdonalds says 75 billion served or Yo mama!!!
• Yo mama so fat dat after I mande love to her I rolled over three times and I still wasn't off of her.
• Yo mama so fat dat she plays pool with da planets!
• Yo mama so fat dat her belt size is da equator
• Yo mama so fat when she walked down da street with a red dress on and people sang "Oh, yeah Kool-Aid!"
• Yo mama so fat her blood type is Ragu
• Yo mama so fat Richard Simmons makes fun of her.
• Yo mama so fat when she leaves McDonalds, day change da number on da sign.
• Yo mama so fat she went to da airport wearing some tight yellow pants and when she bent over to get her luggage two accountants got in thinkn' it was a taxi
• Yo mama so fat dat if fat were bricks, she'd be a housing project
• Yo mama so fat she has to roll over three times just to get wet in da ocean.
• Yo mama so fat she put on a wet suit and day harpooned her
• Yo mama so fat da sun orbits around her ass!
• Yo mama so fat she plays hop scoch like dis: Chicago, Michigan, Detroit
• Yo mama so fat da ARMY uses her panties for parachutes.
• Yo mama so fat when she goes to church even God can't lift her spirit.
• Yo mama so fat she got baptized at Sea World.
• Yo mama so fat she needs hula-hoops to hold up her socks.
• Yo mama so fat she jumped in da Grand Canyon and got stuck!
• Yo mama so fat she tripped on 4th Avenue & landed on 12th.
• Yo mama so fat she uses da highway for a slip-n-slide
• Yo mama so fat she uses a microwave for a beeper
• Yo mama so fat she puts her tampons on with a bazooka
• Yo mama so fat she keeps her vibrator on a gun rack
• Yo mama so fat she uses sheep for maxi-pads
• Yo mama so fat she got a job driving "WIDE LOAD" trucks.
• Yo mama so fat when she rolls into Taco Bell, everyone runs for da boarder
• Yo mama so fat she makes craters while bungee jumping.
• Yo mama so fat a picture of her would fall off da wall
• Yo mama so fat she back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.
• Yo mama so fat she leaves footprints in a concrete floor
• Yo mama so fat she uses an epilectic for a vibrator
• Yo mama so fat firefighters use her to break da fall of jumpers.
• Yo mama so fat I had to roll her in flour to find out where da wet spot was!

SO STUPID

• Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
• Yo mama so stupid it took her half an hour to make minute rice
• Yo mama so stupid she threw a brick at da floor and missed
• Yo mama so stupid dat she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
• Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
• Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
• Yo mama so stupid dat she tried to put M&M;'s in alphabetical order!
• Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
• Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
• Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
• Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
• Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
• Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
• Yo mama so stupid she sits on da TV, and watches da couch!
• Yo mama so stupid when she went to take da 6 train, she took da 3 twice.
• Yo mama so stupid she couldn't read an audio book
• Yo mama so stupid it takes her a week to get rid of a 24hr virus
• Yo mama so stupid it takes her a day to cook a 3 minute egg
• Yo mama so stupid she has to ask for help to use hamburger helper
• Yo mama so stupid she went to disneyworld and saw a sign dat said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home.
• Yo mama so stupid she called information to get da number for 411 ...
• Yo mama so stupid she got hit by a parked car
• Yo mama so stupid she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center
• Yo mama so stupid if her brain was chocolate it wouldn't even fill an M&M;
• Yo mama so stupid she brought a glass to a Ice-T concert
• Yo mama so stupid she flunked kindergarten because she did not know how to scribble
• Yo mama so stupid she brought toilet paper to a craps game.
• Yo mama so stupid she steals free samples from Safeway.
• Yo mama so stupid she got fired from a sperm bank for drinking on da job
• Yo mama so stupid she went to an antique store and said "What's new?"!
• Yo mama so stupid she sat staring at a can of orange juice for 20 minutes cuz it said "concentrate."
• Yo mama so stupid she thinks e=MC Hammer
• Yo mama so stupid she bought airplane tickets to go to da next door neighbor!
• Yo mama so stupid dat she thought James Bond was a brand for a Glue
• Yo mama so stupid dat she bought a $30 calculator to add da question 1+1
• Yo mama so stupid she thought ANTARCTICA was a world full of ants.
• Yo mama so stupid she asked me what comes after 'x' in da alphabet, I said 'y', and she said, cause I wanna know!!
• Yo mama so stupid she wears ear muffs so she won't catch hearing AIDS
• Yo mama so stupid she studdied all night for a urine test - and failed!
• Yo mama so stupid she walks by da YMCA and says, "Look, day spelled Macy's wrong!"
• Yo mama so stupid she couldn't find water if she fell out of a boat.
• Yo mama so stupid dat instead of collecting millions of dollars from Welfare, she got a job for minimum wage.

SO UGLY

• Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, day said "Sorry, no professionals."
• Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her modar said "What a treasure!" and her fadar said "Yes, let's go bury it."
• Yo mama so ugly dey push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
• Yo mama so ugly instead of putting da bungee cord around her ankle, day put it around her neck
• Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
• Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, day turn off da surveillence cameras
• Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get da dogs to play with her.
• Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.
• Yo mama so ugly when day took her to da beautician it took 12 hours for a quote!
• Yo mama so ugly she looks out da window and gets arrested!
• Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
• Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on da phone!
• Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.
• Yo mama so ugly I heard dat your dad first met her at da pound.
• Yo mama so ugly dat your father takes her to work with him so dat he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
• Yo mama so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow
• Yo mama so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water
• Yo mama so ugly she walked into a haunted house and came out with an application
• Yo mama so ugly she look like she fell out da ugly tree and hit every limb on da way down.
• Yo mama so ugly when she walks by a toilet it flushes itself.
• Yo mama so ugly when she was born da doctor slapped her mom
• Yo mama so ugly I've seen better face on a can of dog food
• Yo mama so ugly I flushed da toilet and she said "you just flushed my picture"
• Yo mama so ugly she asked me what my sign was I said "stop"
• Yo mama so ugly da tide wouldn't take her out
• Yo mama so ugly when she takes a shower it's like "Gorillas in da Mist"
• Yo mama so ugly when she goes camping da bears light a fire to keep HER away!
• Yo mama so ugly when she goes Halloween shoppin', people try to buy her!
• Yo mama so ugly she can scare a hungry bulldog off da back of a meatwagon
• Yo mama so ugly when da doctor gave her a face lift, he got a hernia
• Yo mama so ugly when she played in da sandbox, da cat tried to cover her up